Is your barnhouse cat your real significant other? Are you tired of all the delusions about finding the perfect mate? I can answer Womens Ben Powers Jersey , ?yes? to both of these questions. I am just the curmudgeonly sort of person to expose the realities that have anything to do with valentines, romance, or love sweet love Womens Justice Hill Jersey , which makes fools of us all.
In my opinion the only ties that bind are made of either baling twine or barbed wire. The reality of it all is; that it's easier to stay single. I know a gentleman who belongs to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever he feels like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn his toast for him. (Compliments of Orson Bean.)
It's only fair to include Brides Anonymous so as not to be accused of being gender-specific. Whenever a woman wants to get married they send over a man with a too-tight tee shirt stretched over an excessively large belly. Attached to his belt loop is a six-pack of cheap beer as he proceeds to languish on your damask sofa, feet up on your antique coffee table, watching (what else) football. An occasional belch is the only means of communication.
Then there are the online dating services. I've never been involved with one Womens Miles Boykin Jersey , but I have been privy to some amusing stories. While 'surfing? the net, I wondered what kind of material the curmudgeon could use for an article to celebrate St. Valentine's Day?and I found plenty, thanks to website personals for comedic inspiration.
Zeroing in on my age bracket and proximity to where I live Womens Jaylon Ferguson Jersey , I found Devilish Donald seeks Sensual Sally. This guy's photo really made him look like the devil. He was 63 with dyed black hair and squinty blue eyes. He had a grin reminiscent of Satan and was looking for a slim, voluptuous woman whose height is 3?0? ? 7?11?. Now there's a picture for you. Furthermore, there aren't too many women who are both slim and voluptuous unless they are ?Barbie?.
Being the creative curmudgeon that I am Womens Marquise Brown Jersey , I started drawing horns sticking out of Devilish Donald's head, on my computer, with a black magic marker Womens Mark Andrews Jersey , just to see how close to Beelzebub I could make him look. There was a striking resemblance. It's a good thing he wasn't wearing a red shirt or I would have freaked. Now I have to go find some alcohol to wash the ?horns? off my CRT.
There will be no online dating for me. My cat offers much more enjoyment. He fits all the positive descriptions I've read about men on the online dating services. He is cute and cuddly and is committed to a long-term relationship. He loves me unconditionally. He keeps himself clean. He doesn't drink beer or belch. He doesn't smoke. He is physically fit and he works full time (catches rodents). What more can a woman ask for?
Copyright ? 2005 by Pamela Beers. All rights reserved.
The gifted practitioners of this age of modern medicine have developed and used Bentonite clay. Montmorillonite or Pascallite are among the different names you might hear if you point out Bentonite clay. This type of clay is basically made from a mixture of volcanic ash and water.
A popular form of use is creating a Bentonite Clay mask where it actually originated from Native Americans for the treatment of health may even serve as a form of beauty regimen for many as it helps maintain the skin's natural smoothness. Different kinds of Bentonite clay masks are distributed in the market today and you can choose from different varieties, even those which are home made. What variety you are using is not really the concern. What's important is that you are knowledgeable of the content of the clay that you are using and you are making sure that this works well with your skin.
The consumption of Bentonite clay is amazingly one of the techniques that work for detoxification. It can help easily flush away those chemicals that have been harming our bodies for some rnal cleansing has been popular for centuries now and the use of clay has been similarly known to help deal with bodily problems, most especially in Africa Womens Lamar Jackson Jersey , Australia and South America.
To give you a brief description of the material, it was found that two types of natural clay exist today. One of the two is the swelling type and the other is the non swelling type. You may know the swelling type as "sodium bentonite" which is usually used for work in the industrial setting such as sealing disposal systems, drilling mud and other uses that may include the presence of hazardous chemicals. You may find that most places in the southern part of the United States are rich in sodium bentonite.
The latter type would be "Calcium Bentonite." Usually Womens Hayden Hurst Jersey , this type is used by a lot of people in the mountains of the United States as medicine and most especially for cleansing or detoxification. China has also been known to produce such of clay.
Three forms of Bentonite can be found in the market today: capsules, gelatin and matter what form it may be in, this product has been proven to have a big contribution regarding the detoxification process of the human body. regular dosage that you need. Recommended dosage would be 4 tablespoons daily.
Harmful toxins in the body which may include some bacteria, viruses and other chemicals that are supposed to protect us can be eliminated by using Bentonite clay.